If I am ever convicted of another crime, one that involves community service instead of jail time, I wonder if I could volunteer to be a DJ at a church or community center dance party. That would be a good punishment for everyone involved, especially for the guy that sold me those fireworks.
I'd call myself DJ Time Served.
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Can you imagine a Currituck Baptist Church Sadie Hawkins, starring, uh... you? I'd totally ask you to dance.
I'm not allowed in any sort of North Carolina anything because of the previous arrest. So Currituck is out of the question.
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