Wednesday, August 04, 2010

PINNASTORM. INTERNETSTORM. TUMBLRSTORM. BLOGGASTORM. AMANDASTORM.

I resisted Tumblr for the longest time because people were using it like blogs. It was all hard to read and stupid and linky and things were too long and just like, get a blog or a website already. But Lil Tumblr went and grew up into a magical hoodlum when I wasn't paying that much attention, and now it's full of things i love, like animated GIFs of celebrities involved in sex scandals and like, one sentence entries about stupid fashion choices. Apparently, this is what I should have been doing all along since I can't write more than two paragraphs without my brain haywiring.

anyway, I'm trying to teach myself how to use Tumblr. I'm so stupid and elderly it's probably going to take me a long time.

Oh hey in the meantime #1 homegirl Amanda Mattos went and started a rad little music blog. although I've already voiced my displeasure re: her first poll, is Gerardo just a gimme so people didn't go there? I am a total crank.

Monday, June 14, 2010

this morning we discuss amanda's friends who are both insane and awesome and the fact that I kind of forgot my blogger password

me: . . .
im gonna write a sitcom starring you and [NAME REDACTED] its gonna be called "That's my [NAME REDACTED]!" and it's gonna be like DEXTER
Amanda: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
me: man
thats my best comment since i told you the other day that you looked "Pretty, Scandanavian, like you should be giving me a massage in an ice hotel!"
2010, I am on a roll.
Amanda: hhahahahaaaaaaaaaahahahaha
you really are
well done
me: i wish i had a blog
Amanda: hey guess what.
me: wait, what?

Monday, May 24, 2010

About "Lost"

the g: man, i hope this doesn't turn into that one robin williams movie. what was it called?
the n: "Bicentennial Man?"

the g: oh wait, just kidding, it's Hellboy. Oh my god, if Hellboy shows up this will truly go down as the BEST TELEVISION SERIES EVER.

Friday, April 23, 2010

confession

i don't even know how this happened but i somehow listened to like, an hour+ of "elliott in the morning" dc wacky RADIO JOCK WOOO! show on my way to work this AM. I was going to turn to NPR or something but then I realized that not only was my husband not in the car with me so I didn't have to be embarrassed about this weird transgression, but stifflers mom was a guest and was talking about her coke habit/club girl days in late 80s manhattan and PLEASE. i am not made of steel, you cant turn from that kind of radio gold.

so that happened.

Friday, March 12, 2010

UNNNNNNNH



You see this lady on the right from the Lady GaGa video? I am being her for Halloween and/or for the rest of my life. She is my new Lily-Allen-Astronaut-Visor-Lifting-Moment Video Favorite. No one steal my idea. She is terrific.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Just a few more left

Are you ready to get snownd? The G is. She went to the grocery store at midnight on Thursday and the lines extended all the way down the aisles, back into the cold cuts. And all she wanted to buy was bleu cheese dressing for our Super Bowl wings and 6 frozen pizzas for her and the dog. I don’t really care for football, so I’m not going to watch the game. Have fun. Plus, I already know what’s going to happen thanks to my trusty, dog-eared copy of Boston 2010: XXI Supercoppa.



Boston 2010: XXI Supercoppa is the superior Italian translation of Killerbowl, Gary K Wolf’s realism masterpiece. While, most will remember Wolf as the creator of Roger Rabbit, Boston 2010: XXI Supercoppa is actually the brightest star in Wolf’s constellation of fictitious works. It’d be easy to find or write an English synopsis of the book. But who has time for that? Let’s make things complicated and toss the Italian summary into a couple translators and see whats what. We can break it down from there.

It’s 31 December 2010(1). In a few hours, begins the finals of the oval ball between the team of the San Francisco Prospectors and that of the Minuteman in New England. TK Mann, ace Prospector, is preparing(2) the dressing room. At 34 you(3) feel old, and his murderous rival, Harv Matision(4), has sworn to kill him(5) ... Because in 2010 the American football, which is already one of the most violent sports in existence, has evolved into a clash of gladiators. The athletes take the field as armored medieval warriors armed with clubs, spears, daggers, rifles(6), and the game, rather than the stadium, takes place in an urban district, vacated for the occasion and littered with cameras. Everything is ready for the Super Cup XXI(7). But as we witness, hour by hour, the chronicle of the fierce battle, a series of dramatic flashbacks gradually reveal why this particular Super Cup is different from all others. There are mysterious backstages(8), strange interference, cynical machinations behind the big game. And TK Mann, a hero at sunset, still has many cards to play: first and foremost that of revenge.

1. HG Welles was able to correctly predict technological advancements in submarines and electrical batteries. Lovecraft accurately foretold the arrival of the batrachian Deep Ones , that race of frog-like ocean-dwelling creatures who are currently plaguing the Connecticut coastline with their affinity for mating with humans. I don’t see why Paul K. Wolf would not assume that the NFL would add a bye week to the middle of the season, extend the schedule to 16 games and add a wild card round to the playoffs. It’s ridiculous for anyone to think that the 2010 Super Bowl would be played even on the last day of December.

2. Every translation indicated that TK Mann, the ace Prospector, was preparing THE dressing room and not preparing IN the dressing room. With bunting, I assume.

3. The translators also appear to have issues with pronouns. It isn’t Mann who feels old, but the reader. Also, is a 34 year-old quarterback considered over-the-hill anymore?

4. Granted this was written decades ago, but doesn’t Harv Matision seem like a lazy attempt at changing the name of Marvin Harrison? The gun-toting, alleged attempted murderer and former Colt Marvin Harrison?

5. Only one translation says “sworn to kill him.” The others claim that Harv Matision has “sworn to make him the skin.”

6. Also cudgels, claves, giavellottis, javelins, daggers, and carbines.

7. With the way the NFL stretches out the season to make monies, it can be forgiven that Wolf would get the date of the game wrong. But there are some wildly inaccurate mathematics being used to compute the Roman numerals for the 2010 Super Bowl. When the book was printed in 1975 it had been firmly established that the Super Bowl was an annual event. It should have been easy to calculate that the game was the 44th championship and not the 21st. Super Bowl XXI was in 1987.

8. Not mysterious backstage activities. Just mysterious back stages.



Enjoy the game everyone. My guess: Boston Minutemen in four sets. 7-6, 6-3, 4-6, 6-1.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Home Fries

I'm sure the sudden and embiggening change to Luke Wilson face has been thoroughly discussed wherever people talk about these things nowadays. (Internet caf├ęs?) I know that we sure have in our poor household. Every time the commercials come on for whatever it is he’s selling (cordless phones?) I say “he looks like a Wii character.” But it’s clear nobody in the room with me (the dog?) gets what I mean. This is what I mean.

Luke Wilson used to look like this.



Now he looks like this.

There is a Mii face setting that looks like a trapezoid, but I knew of no person whose head was shaped like that. And then along came Luke.


There are several thousand other things I should have been doing in the 30 minutes it took me to make these.