Thursday, June 02, 2005

Shad Roe with Caviar Butter on Black Pepper Fettuccini with Vodka Cream wasn't the only thing being served

The Nabob was recently a judge at a dance-off/wedding between two bridesmaids. To smooth over the accusations that I received any pesos under the table, here are my notes on the scoring.


Judges identities hidden to protect integrity of competition.

Sister of Groom:
Handicapped by an indie-rock background, but wisely overcame this by wearing a dress with no pockets to place hands. Kept Emo-Head Bob to a minimum. Style clearly based on the Skank, with wild yet controlled waving of the arms. Kept leg kicks in time with the selected song. Had the judges believing she was actually "dropping" something as it were "hot". Points for maintaining eye contact with opponent and aggressive punk-posturing.

Friend of Bride:
Style clearly based on Jock Jams. Judges detect fundamentals of perhaps high school dance team or Eric Nies. Highly choreographed with the obvious goal of "serving" opponent. Points for ease of movement and limb control. Attitude: keeping head to side and eyes clinched tightly as if power of her dance were brighter than a 1000 suns (nice touch). Loss of points after fourth pelvic thrust directed at date mistakenly hit bride’s grandmother.

Ruling:
While the Nabob was leaning toward the Friend of Bride based on skill alone, Sister of Groom received a million point bonus for shoving her opponent at the conclusion of the song. SoG took the prize the moment the disbelieving FoB hit the ground.

5 comments:

The Governess said...

My vote lies with the Sister, by the way.

She probably practices alone in her room to old Fishbone tapes. I admire, I admire.

Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

How many posts is that in one day?

The Governess said...

jealous? :)

Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

No. Envious that you had the time to do that...unless you stored them up and then hit "publish" for all....

nikki the red said...

someone remembers eric nies?