Looking one way, rowing the other.
My fav: "I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a girl who'd be really pissed ifshe heard me say that."
i love the one about the club sandwich. "How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?"
Smokey the Bear v. Smackey the Frog as Forest Fire Prevention Representative..."Frogs are always cooool..."
The Nabob was always partial to..."I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
The Kriston likes:"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an escalator 'Temporarily Out of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs... Sorry for the Convenience ... We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there.'"
Or! Or!"This jacket is dry clean only. Which means . . . it's dirty."
my favorite:I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again." Apparently i was in a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong, or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."Reminds me of some of the spam with oddly affecting subject lines that I get. I know I've had a bunch of heartbreaking bulk-email koans about the disappointments of adulthood and mortality. "don't give up" is the best subject line that I can remember offhand."...on obtaining cheap prescription narcotics" being the concluding sentiment, of course. But you know what? I haven't.
"I love rice. Its great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something"RE Spam comment lines, dude, alls I got to say is Spamusment.
Kriston, the escalator was broken at my metro stop today so the only way to get down was by walking down the stairs. I could not believe how many complained over the convenience.
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