Thursday, August 17, 2006

who gets what they deserve? acrobats, that's who.

It would be really easy to sit back and type about the new kitchen countertops (installed yesterday, "Sandstone" by Corian), or maybe my weekend plans (movie, sanding-n-painting, listening to dog whines, rum) or maybe the fact that I spent my entire Tuesday making my dog a MySpace page ("Dr. Doompaws", which is kind of awesome, but making profiles for dogs is the 21st century version of putting sweaters and booties on animals. So congratulations to me, I'm one step closer to being Crazy Old Lady Governess, who hands out UNICEF pennies/packets of seeds to kids on Halloween and looks to soap operas for guidance on how to live more like Jesus), or maybe I could just sit back and conduct an operatic bitchfest of an unholy, screeching scale questioning the challenge of finding a rental home that sleep 20 in New England (answer: difficult to impossible!), but all of that is SIGNIFICANTLY BORING. I have not much else really to talk about. I am... blogged down.

Oh, well, I drew a wine glass in Arts N Crafts last night. And (D. STOP READING BECAUSE YOU WILL DISCOVER YOUR WEDDING GIFT) I found this website this morning.

* * *

Here, since you didn't ask:
"So, we met at a basement party, and everyone was drinking a lot, and this really hot girl is dancing with me. And I am like "I AM LUCKY" and keep dancing with her but also I am drunk. And then my bros start shooting me weird looks, but I don't really pay any attention. So this party gets busted up by the cops, and we decide to run, but it's raining. We're running down a muddy alley in the middle of downtown Des Moines and we slip and fall! into a giant mud puddle. Here is where I should have been paying more attention/clue number 1 - her arm goes LIKE A LAWN DART into the ground - pfffft - but she pulls it out and I help her up just thinking that she's lucky she didn't break her crazy arm. Later that night we go back to my dorm room and I'm on top of her and suddenly it's not just a fake arm, but like: a TERRIBLY fake arm. Not even close to realistic - it was like they tried to make it realistic but failed in a large large way. And I mean whatever, fine, but that's when she was like "This is getting kind of weird?" and I was like "yeah" so she put her shirt on and left. The weirdest part was the lawn dart thing. That was pretty incredible."

There you go.


La Bella Mafia said...

my. i'm just praying that you're going to another wedding of another friend whose name starts with D this year.

The Governess said...

JOKES ON YOU. That will make a lovely addition to your back deck.