There is an article of clothing that someone is selling in Washington that I want. I want it very much. I believe there to be only one person selling it and it is the last of its kind. I have seen it displayed in several ever changing areas across the city. Unfortunately, I am forever late and have not been able to stop and purchase it. I will not say what it is as I fear other people may attempt to purchase it and ruin my attempt to be 15 years out of date.
Last week from 7-9am I staked out the neighborhood where I last saw it, but its seller never appeared. I’ve also driven around the mall for an hour to no avail. Today I visited a few potential retailers but it became too hot so I cried and went home. All I saw was a giant dillhole crash his Segway into a White House security barricade and bust his expensive camera. And also a kid purposely pour his bright red drink on pigeon and I hope its feathers are now permanently stained a shocking pink. It’ll be the most beautiful pigeon hanging out on the William Tecumseh Sherman’s statue, perhaps perching on his head restoring the general’s once glorious red hair.
More to come on this article of clothing when, not if, I find it.