Thursday, August 24, 2006


I am currently experience the sleep deprivation situation that one often faced in college. The kind where you would look at a calendar and think “I might be able to get a good night’s sleep in 12 days but until then I should not operate heavy keg-a-rator machinery.” A recap at what has currently put me in this Z deficit.

Thursday: Linda Cropp and Rancid. You’ve heard SingSyl’s superior tale of his run in with Cropp but it was my time at the Black Cat that killed me. The past few years of Sigur Ros and Iron & Wine has withered all the pseudo-violent tendencies I once exhibited at college rock shows. But its good to see the kids still enjoy flailing themselves around.

Specifically the three identically dressed brothers who were equally aggressive in their pushing of people to the floor and helping them back up. And they also had a striking resemblance to Max Perlich. (Who I remember most from the Naked Eyes video.)

In bed at 2, up at 6:30.

Friday: Bachelor Party. We can’t talk about that beyond the guy who had no business staying in with his A-9 off suit. That guy sucks.

In bed at 2, up at 6:30.

Saturday: Drove to Richmond for some beer drinking and a fantasy football draft. While we, of course, stayed up to late, devoured horrible things, learned that one of our friend’s great-great-grandfather was court marshaled by the Confederates during the Civil War for “horse buggery,” and that others went to high school with that stripper who had the human hand at her house, it should not have been enough to cripple my weekend. While my friendship with these clowns is very dear, most of them are monstrous, muumuu wearing fat-asses and I wanted to shove their special dialing wands through their deviated septums to kill their unimaginably load snoring.

Now, my father has snored all my life and it never fazed me growing up. When these first brief snorts began, I laughed ‘em off. But within minutes, three of these tubs were roaring away at Oceanic 815/magnetic impulse levels. I tried escaping into another room and then another floor but it didn’t work. Richmond shook more that night than it did during the Petersburg seize and explosion. (See the beginning of Cold Mountain.) At times it seemed that they were recreating the Lincoln-Douglas debates through a series of snorts and grunts.

Take a listen yourself…

Asleep as 3:30, up 8.

Sunday: The plan was too drive home early and sleep the afternoon away. But the Virginia DOT, several caravans of returning vacationers and college kids on their way back to school kyboshed that plan. The 2 hour trip took 5, even with several attempts bypass on Route 1. Luckily, I had this kid to keep me company for at least an hour.

And to the cutie pie with the skeleton leg in the back of her car: call me.

When I finally made it home I was put to work in the salt mines and painted to 2am or something.

Monday: Okay, I did sleep until 1pm on Monday, but I paid for it later. My sleep pattern was so screwed up that I couldn’t fall asleep until 3am. That, and the discovery that my local library let’s you check out graphic novels. Nerd alert: high. They have all the Marvel Ultimate series so I did stay up too late reading about the new Colossus.

Asleep at 3, up at 7:30.

Tuesday: SNAKES! By myself. It's not a good sign for this flick when there were only 5 of us total in the theatre. And three of us were weirdos sitting solo. This movie’s got legs, I tells ya!

Last Night: Normal. Except for the humiliating 9-1 soccer loss.

However, I am still very sleepy. Current proof:
  • A sporadic tic near my eye.
  • My right thumb spasms like that clay guy in that one Tool video.
  • A sophisticated Zummi Gummi speak where either the first letter of words get reversed or entire words in the sentences.
  • In coherent mumbling
  • Inability to come up with blog ideas.
  • It took 4 days to write this one entry.
The mumbling has turned out to be the most fun because the G can’t understand what I’m saying and reply’s “HUH?!?” in a very Britney-like way. And then we fight and she tells me to stop complaining and that I should go to bed early tonight. But what if something good is on tonight? Or I start another comic book?

Nuts to that.

1 comment:

The Governess said...

Okay, first of all, Max Perlich should be remembered ALWAYS #1 as Yabbo from "Gleaming the Cube." Not remembered because of some MUSIC VIDEO. Okay.

Second, Vice Squad!