Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Independent Order of Odd Fellows

Happenstance has provided me with a rather odd acquaintance. He has repeatedly invited me to his home to watch A New Hope on his ever-improving sound and video system. But just not any viewing, for we will watch the first half on the original Laser Disc and then switch to the most recent DVD version in an attempt to compare the media. (Oh, and Governess, that VHS you used to tape the last episode of Lost on? That was a gift from him of the John Williams score in the latest digital Dolby you tape over. And you still have to wait until Septemebr 21st to see what’s in that hatch.) Something, anything has tragically come up and I haven’t been able to make it. But he is persistent. And odd.

He found me today, in order to tell an odd story. Here’s a rough rundown of what he regaled:

There’s this guy that I know who lives in Arlington. He’s a party DJ who once exclusively DJed at nudist colonies and he was naked too. Though, now he does other events like church dances. But that doesn’t matter to this story. You see, there’s this woman who walks her Rottweiler in front of his house and the dog always goes to the bathroom in his yard. He asked the lady to stop but everyday it’s the same thing. So he said that next time that it happened, he was going to run out and go to the bathroom right next to the dog at the same time. And you know what? Yesterday he did! Pulled his pants down and pooped in his own lawn. And, boy, was the lady angry! And did I mention that he once bedded her and it didn’t go very well in the bed? Well, he did and it didn’t go well at all.

I gave him the “Wow, that’s some story” nod/eyebrow raise but said nothing. He stood there expectantly for a few seconds before realizing that he left something out.

“Oh yeah, and he went to prom with your mother.”

Right. It turns out he’s friends with an old classmate of my mom’s. I checked this story out with my father, who confirmed the dance part. "Indeed, your mother went to her prom with a man who DJ's at nudist parties. "

So odd.

3 comments:

The Governess said...

That so beats the fact that I went to a prom with a raving lunatic right wing conspiracist who probably now works for Coulter. SO. BEATS. IT.

Well, unless he poops on his own lawn, too. I wouldn't really doubt it.

Kriston said...

I just wanted to indicate to any readers out there who are my girlfriend that the guy in the story isn't me. I promise. I'm not sure how someone managed to accrue more versions/formats of Star Wars than me, but there you have it.

The Duchess said...

How did you not know that your mother went to prom with him?