Friday, August 19, 2005

back to getting schooled

I've been alerted to a webpage which contains a photo of yrs truly. It's the photography services/public affairs page of my alma mater; apparently there is a whole group of photos labeled "campus scenes!!!!" (note EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!) that are used in promotional materials/to lure prospective students to the school (home of a french fry vending machine, by the way.)

However, apparently the administration is attempting to lure students to the 90s version of said school: the photos portray an oversized-sweatshirts-n-jorts convention was being held on the grassy lawns. I cannot believe my mug has been up there for this long. Why are they not updating this resource? I don't understand.

At least I'm not dressed too wacky, I'm in all black as was de rigeur for the Governess. In the photo, I am talking to an older man on the quad, and I look righteously pissed (read: hungover.) He has a lot of keys, so it looks like I am in some sort of lover's quarrel with a gray-haired janitor. (I smell a branding campaign! "Send your daughters to us and we will make sure they have inappropriate relations with the elderly!") In reality, this man was a professor of mine my junior year, so I'm sure I was mad because he was being completely unreasonable, like asking I attend his class once in a while, or comb my hair for the first time since freshman orientation because it's scaring other students. That being said, my arms look skinny-fab.

Anyways, look for me on the front of your younger bros and sister's recruiting pamphlets soon!

(PS. Why didn't any of my friends just say: listen, it's time to put down the highlighting kit. We love you too much to let you do this to yourself. Step away.)

6 comments:

brett said...

the tie-dyes *are* a dead give-away...

the Nabob said...

hey! you can see me breaking my collarbone in the background!

the Nabob said...

that ain't tie-dye, brett, it's hypercolour. The governess is way old.

Another nice touch: the picture of the school's notorious "kissing rock" has two dudes starring romantically into each others eyes.

Anonymous said...

The Kissing Rock? Would this be JMU we're speaking of... or does another school have a "rock" of the same?

the Nabob said...

sounds like kissing rocks are now a standard part of all colleges. History 101, dining hall, kissing rock, french fry vending machine... a cookie cutter campus.

wasted potential said...

I like how the first few images in the school photo montage are of a bronze statue. this gives the impression that everyone in the school is made of bronze and wears a neckerchief.