I've been alerted to a webpage which contains a photo of yrs truly. It's the photography services/public affairs page of my alma mater; apparently there is a whole group of photos labeled "campus scenes!!!!" (note EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!) that are used in promotional materials/to lure prospective students to the school (home of a french fry vending machine, by the way.)
However, apparently the administration is attempting to lure students to the 90s version of said school: the photos portray an oversized-sweatshirts-n-jorts convention was being held on the grassy lawns. I cannot believe my mug has been up there for this long. Why are they not updating this resource? I don't understand.
At least I'm not dressed too wacky, I'm in all black as was de rigeur for the Governess. In the photo, I am talking to an older man on the quad, and I look righteously pissed (read: hungover.) He has a lot of keys, so it looks like I am in some sort of lover's quarrel with a gray-haired janitor. (I smell a branding campaign! "Send your daughters to us and we will make sure they have inappropriate relations with the elderly!") In reality, this man was a professor of mine my junior year, so I'm sure I was mad because he was being completely unreasonable, like asking I attend his class once in a while, or comb my hair for the first time since freshman orientation because it's scaring other students. That being said, my arms look skinny-fab.
Anyways, look for me on the front of your younger bros and sister's recruiting pamphlets soon!
(PS. Why didn't any of my friends just say: listen, it's time to put down the highlighting kit. We love you too much to let you do this to yourself. Step away.)