Thursday, January 25, 2007

He would wear a bowtie only. A red one.

The G and I opted not to subject our cousin’s children to a popularity contest/BCS-like ranking system and consequently did not have a flower girl or ring bearer. But if I were to do it again I would look into having a ring bear.

I would train it to walk that goofy, upright bear walk down the aisle, carrying a little silk pillow with the rings on it. After it gave them to the minister, he (I assume it would be a he-bear) could back to four paws and sit their quietly during the ceremony. But if he caused trouble, I think one of the groomsmen could have a beehive on a long stick to distract him. Probably the G’s brother because he’s tall and has long arms.

At the end, immediately after the “…introducing for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Pygmalion…” he would stand up again and growl his bearish approval like the last scene of A New Hope.


Oh, by the way, I lost my wedding ring recently. It was an ill-advised course of action and, as you counsel, I strongly recommend against it.


Anonymous said...

Ring Bear the first.

Ring Bear the second.

Ring Bear the third.

Thus concludes the Ring Bear cycle. Also, ur a bad huzband.

The Governess said...

he turned the entire house upside down. i found it in the washing machine, natch. and then he didn't even see it when i wrapped it in a shiny bow and tied it to the door handle of the fridge, and obvious place for a wedding band to reappear.

Also, because of those links, ur a bad Sommer.

the Nabob said...

Christ, You know how hard it is to come up with original content? After 1200 posts? I'll write something new up about Obama, if you want. Or 24. Or Jim VandeHei. Or some other lame ass thing.

Sommer = Ruiner.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm a ruiner because I know how to google "ring bear". Glad your ring was found, though.

the Nabob said...


I'm not. Being single again for those 2 weeks was exhilarating. I envy your lifestyle.

Now quit busting my applebag.