As a courtesy to the freshman Congress, we waited an entire month before approaching Heath Shuler to ask if he’d be interested in playing on our flag football team. I’m sad to report that he has turned us down.
As much as the team needs a quarterback, we all agreed that no matter how strong your arm may be, having a paralyzed left foot (or so he claims) would be a problem when faced with a quick and blitzing defense. Especially since our blocking is pretty suspect. We are now focusing our passing needs in other directions.
And on a related note, two of the teams players have appeared in the Politico since its launch. Yea?
And on a note related to that, today’s issue features two stories about the 5-day congressional workweek. The accompanying illustration shows various congresspeoples apparently abandoning their families to report to the Capitol building outfitted with comically large factory whistle. Everyone except for a single Midwestern delegate who it seems has no family outside of a very angry cow. Boy, does that Holstein looks pissed.
Based on the cow’s rough geographic location and the lawmaker’s glasses, I’ve determined that the deserting Congressman is Lee Terry of Nebraska. He is the only bespectacled Rep from that part of the country. While his bio mentions wife and three sons, there is no mention of an angry cow anywhere in the family. So I’m not sure what the Politico is trying to say there.