Thursday, February 15, 2007

No Love

Just like after Halloween, the Pyggy house is filled with tubs of undesired candy – ther red, white and pinkish variety. We’ve replaced the walls with a thin candy shell.

And also just like Halloween, I attempted to make this junk not just for 3:30pm sugar-level crashes anymore. Since the Milk Duds in cold cereal quickly turned into chilled, chocolate jawbreakers, I opted for the warm/hot oatmeal.

Honestly, this was an incontestable failure. It’s currently 4 hours after I ate breakfast and I still feel sick in the stomach and a little bit in the head. Not a headache, so much, but that woozy head sickness you get when you ride the Rebel Yell backwards. I can not recommend doing this in any form and strongly suggest against it. I could not swallow more than 3 bites and of the 19 hearts applied to the oats, 15 of them were removed from the bowl and quickly thrown down the garbage disposal. One was similarly removed from my mouth.

It’s incredible how fast these nasty things went from appealing to nauseating. Past Valentine’s Days have meant grabbing a handful of candy hearts and tossing them down the hatch in one gulp. Not no mo’. I also made the mistake of looking at the ingredients/nutrition facts. I knew these things we basically just made of sugar, blackboard chalk and food coloring but how can one serving contain more grams of sugar than a large Coke from McDowell’s? It’s true: 38 versus 31.

It might be because that Necco considers a single serving size as the entire contents of one of Tom's little baggies. Unacceptably sexy, or not.

Barf. I will never eat one of these again.


The Governess said...

thats disgusting.

tom said...

I admire your commitment to science. Was it the heat that made the hearts so inedible? Or do you think that, after a day of heart consumption, breakfast just pushed the level of chalky byproducts in your system to toxic levels?