Thursday, February 22, 2007

also, the anna nicole judge? crying. on tv.

On Television:

S: so bai ling is a caricature of a real person right?

The G: is the worst actress ever?

S: she was awful

The G: and that episode last night made me want to slit my throat? NOTHING was REVEALED I HATE THEM

S: I think lost needs to stop going to commercial with that BOOM and blackness routine because they are no longer applicable. I used to yell when they would do that. noooo don't go to commercial now

The G: as the N said last night: "oh, great, now they have to fake suspense."

S: and now I"m like hahahahahahah you can't pretend suspense when there is none to begin with

The G: i found myself like, cutting my toenails. in the bathroom. not during commercial. just whenever assy Bai Ling and her Magikal tattoos were on

S: B and I worked on a crossword puzzle

The G: booooooooo

S: I have a gift

The G: a gift of STDs

S: I'm a tattoo artist who also does horoscopes. GIFT. THAT IS YOUR DRAMA? SERIOUSLY

The G: My gift is: I used to work at Miami Ink on TLC. Also: the best they could get was bai ling? seriously? what, no sandra oh? no lucy lu? no members of the joy luck club? nice going, lindelof or whoever.

S: my gift to you, Lost? you better be glad I don't have cable or tivo in my room because I'd be all over the food network while you were on

The G: it was Fruit Carving Challenge last night, and the Asian girl who was on it was a chef, and WAS STILL A BETTER CHOICE THAN BAI LING w/r/t acting.

S: hahahaha

The G: she cried. real tears, my friend. her fruit sculpture fell down. i saw no tears from BL . only tears from me as i cried AT her.

S: and I cried because of jack's 1980's sunglasses and bai ling's leopard print crimped hair extension?

The G: i cried at that one dress she was wearing. my eyes caught STDs through the screen. i was like "don't fall down. please lord. for all that is good an holy. manipulate gravity. dont let that tiny tiny dress fall" the N said- "Eww. She is shaped like.... a bag of antlers."

S: are we talking about the red dress?

The G: YEEESSSSS. ARRRGGGHHH

S: because that made me cringe

The G: i know
it hurt
the stds from her
radiating from that dress

S: were you willing her to stand perfectly still so nothing would flash or pop out

The G: yes
yes yes yes yes
dont walk down that alley
not cause its scary
but because i dont want you to walk
or move
at all

2 comments:

the Nabob said...

Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Some ones thinking of me
And loving me tonight

Somewhere out there
Someones saying a prayer
That we'll find one another
In that big somewhere out there

And even though i know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we'll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams
Come true

And even though i know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we'll be togethor
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams
Come true

the g said...

oh NO. oh YES.