This entry will appeal to exactly 0% of you

Ladies and gentleman, this is your basic trap play.


You need at least a 7 on your Wonderlich test to understand this. In other words, it's too complicated for Vince Young.


For those unfamiliar with football schematics or EA Sports, the trap is one of the least complicated but surprisingly effective blocking maneuvers. As you can see, all of the offensive players engage in the same direction, minus one pulling guard who blocks a lone defensive player in the opposite tack. If realized correctly, the scheme should open a lane for the ball carrier that wouldn't face an unblocked opponent until he reaches the secondary. The trap play is especially effective against an undisciplined or overly aggressive lineman who'd likely have advance too far into the backfield.

(It was a trap play similar to the one above that ended my football career in college.* While locked up with an offensive lineman, my cleat caught on the Astro-turf and all 500lbs of us rolled over my ankle. The bone's snap was audible on the video shot from the press box of the stadium. )

The trap is the base play for many a high school's running offense. In fact, it was so successful for my team that in a game against our rivals (Tom) we probably called it for 70% of our plays. On one drive we ran it five times in a row, constantly trapping the same dumb defensive guard too far up-field, capping it with a 3 yard touchdown dive right at him. He couldn’t seem to figure out that if he wasn’t immediately engaged off the snap, then a trap was coming his way. He yelped a surprised curse every time I came across his shoulder and drove him off the ball.

I would have felt a bad for this kid if he hadn’t been such an ass in a previous life. Legend has it we first met at a pre-school party, where he was a 4 year old ass, and we followed cross-town parallel educational paths through high school. We played opposite each other on offense and defense all four years and I always looked forward to blowing by his slow first step. We had a silent rivalry that never extended beyond the field and knowing glances at the Cowboy Café on Tuesdays. He was an all purpose ass and he plain stunk at football.

Which is why I was surprised that he is now the head coach at my HS’s other rival. A head coach in his mid-twenties? Outrageous. Perhaps he’s turned it around. Maybe he hunkered down with his Sega Genesis Bill Walsh and figured out what "Student Body Right" means. Or rented The Program and is having his freshmen lay down in the middle of 66 to toughen ‘em up.

Nope.

1-23 in the first two seasons.

So for all you Warriors out there, study the play above because your coach probably doesn’t understand how it works. 2 and 10 next year is a reasonable expectation.

*My flag football career almost ended this weekend. I hit my head so hard during a tackle that I couldn’t remember where my car was parked after the game and most of the landmarks during the drive home were unrecognizable. But a good nap cleared all that up. Break.