does anyone want a mom? I'm considering selling mine. She's mostly in good condition. A little crazy, but nowadays, it's hard to find one that isn't.
She likes candles, shoes, gossip, and passive-aggressively picking fights with her children over the phone in the waning hours of the weekend. 5'9", short brown hair, career woman, pretty, makes great tortellini soup. Email w/ best offer.
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In other news, I went to the kite festival Saturday. We flew a pirate kite. I made a delicious meal last night for old coworkers, like, a pot roast, people. Insanity. The dog ate an entire box of cereal, resulting in a trip to the vet because of dehydration, where they gave him fluid injections that looks like boob implants. The D. gave me a folder for work , on the front it says "WWAUD?" ("What Would A Unicorn Do?") Options include "Posing On A Windy Cliff," "Frolicking Through A Flowery Meadow," etc. So this is the stance I'm taking with my mother nowadays- WWAUD?
Did I mention my dog has breast implants? Okay, just checking.