Thursday, March 09, 2006

Kids Don't Follow

Damn. The radiator’s busted, the floor’s rotted and GP’s shit got stolen. What happened? At least we have out health.

Or least I do. The G’s just a sweaty, feverish, covers-stealing turbine.

Let’s get back to what makes this site so damn average.

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See that dead horse over there? Here’s a blackjack. Let’s go beat it.

Where: office. When: this morning.

50 year old female acquaintance: You’re young. What’s that jeans commercial where the girl dances and there is junk in the trunk?
Nabob: Jesus. I think it’s actually a phone commercial. The song is called “My Humps.” It’s horrible.
Biddy: Whatever it’s for, I can’t get it out of my head. I’m having my kitchen redone so it’s all dusty and a mess. I’ve asked the dog several times “What are we going to do with all this junk in our trunk?”
N: That’s awful.
Biddy: It’s not that bad. It’s better than that “Pimp” song I kept singing on Monday from the Oscars.
N: Not really, no. It’s awful.

(After showing her the lyrics)

Biddy: Oh, those are bad. Do they play that on the radio?
N: You bet. And I’m sure a Texas cheerleading squad is working it into their routine as we speak.

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You know you’ve gone too far when Hal Sparks turns his back on you.

Yeeeaah! VH1 loves something new this week! Toys! I like toys too! But Frisbee is only #45? That’s rubbish. Top 3 at least. Nothing else on the list has either given me a broken nose, knocked out two teeth or given me a concussion. Only Frisbee can claim that. It’s not a “fun” toy unless someone gets triaged. And where’s the Nerf crotch bat?

And speaking of toys.



Beth Littleford, that's some super-plunging neckline you got going on. I’ve got no problem letting the world know that you are a very attractive and hilarious woman. Cause you are. But you just had a kid 7 months ago, right? Showing the ladies off in all their utilitarian glory makes me a tad uncomfortable. The line between sexy and mommy is blurry and I'm a small, puerile man. Leave me be.

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Beating the G. to the Hold Steady punch – You can almost hear the Craig Finn in the intro. Oh, that is Craig Finn. Just like Soul Asylum and the Replacements, those MN cats have gotta stick together.

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Beth Littleford's boobs rock! Her cleavage was the high point of the show.

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