Thursday, March 09, 2006

Kids Don't Follow

Damn. The radiator’s busted, the floor’s rotted and GP’s shit got stolen. What happened? At least we have out health.

Or least I do. The G’s just a sweaty, feverish, covers-stealing turbine.

Let’s get back to what makes this site so damn average.


See that dead horse over there? Here’s a blackjack. Let’s go beat it.

Where: office. When: this morning.

50 year old female acquaintance: You’re young. What’s that jeans commercial where the girl dances and there is junk in the trunk?
Nabob: Jesus. I think it’s actually a phone commercial. The song is called “My Humps.” It’s horrible.
Biddy: Whatever it’s for, I can’t get it out of my head. I’m having my kitchen redone so it’s all dusty and a mess. I’ve asked the dog several times “What are we going to do with all this junk in our trunk?”
N: That’s awful.
Biddy: It’s not that bad. It’s better than that “Pimp” song I kept singing on Monday from the Oscars.
N: Not really, no. It’s awful.

(After showing her the lyrics)

Biddy: Oh, those are bad. Do they play that on the radio?
N: You bet. And I’m sure a Texas cheerleading squad is working it into their routine as we speak.


You know you’ve gone too far when Hal Sparks turns his back on you.

Yeeeaah! VH1 loves something new this week! Toys! I like toys too! But Frisbee is only #45? That’s rubbish. Top 3 at least. Nothing else on the list has either given me a broken nose, knocked out two teeth or given me a concussion. Only Frisbee can claim that. It’s not a “fun” toy unless someone gets triaged. And where’s the Nerf crotch bat?

And speaking of toys.

Beth Littleford, that's some super-plunging neckline you got going on. I’ve got no problem letting the world know that you are a very attractive and hilarious woman. Cause you are. But you just had a kid 7 months ago, right? Showing the ladies off in all their utilitarian glory makes me a tad uncomfortable. The line between sexy and mommy is blurry and I'm a small, puerile man. Leave me be.


Beating the G. to the Hold Steady punch – You can almost hear the Craig Finn in the intro. Oh, that is Craig Finn. Just like Soul Asylum and the Replacements, those MN cats have gotta stick together.


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Beth Littleford's boobs rock! Her cleavage was the high point of the show.

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