1. There is nothing easy about pirate ship kites. They are not easy to build, they are not easy to fly and they are not even easy to crash on the heads of annoying kids. A good majority of the kite day was taken up with construction of the accursed thing. Another good majority was spent holding it over our heads trying to get it to flight. If the wind isn’t blowing a constant Category 7 you needed to be in constant motion to keep it about 10 feet off the ground.
2. To the man who was upset by my constant motion. Sir, you were on the mall on mother fucking kite day and was I flying my mother fucking kite. Sorry to ruin you family’s vacation to the Nation’s Crapitol.
3. Never assume that when someone makes a vague nautical reference to your finally lofted pirate ship kite that you can answer in specific early 19th century nautical terms. A woman watching our erratic flying said she thought the crow’s nest was the problem with the erratic flight. I responded that it was probably more likely the poor design of the mizzen-mast and the staysail is too big. No need to get the bosun involved with the crow’s nest.
She responded the same way you probably just did. But you probably don’t have a kitty cat kite right now.
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