Thursday, March 16, 2006

Meet the Krankies

Sticking with the recent upcoming movies theme, let’s knock some out...

This Little Man absurdity sounds suspiciously like The Krankies, my favorite sitcom from the early 80’s in my native Scotland. My 2 brothers and I would roll around on our cottage floor outside of Aberdeen, laughing at the antics of a grown man and his 4’5” wife while she poses as a naughty school boy. B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Fortunately, you Americans can a get a wee taste this summer. LITTLE MAN!


My demands of last May have gone ignored. There was a moratorium on any cute use of the word “panda” in relation to the in utero Butterstick. Never mind the fact that I got zero credit for calling his existence in the first place. Zero.

It’s time for a new demand. Dressing as the new Jack Black character Nacho Libre is strictly prohibited for this upcoming or any following Halloween. Though we are still 79 days away from the film’s scheduled release, I am preemptively declaring it to be already “played out.” Anyone wearing a Mexican wrestling mask, no shirt , tights and a cape will be labeled “unoriginal” or “lame” and will be asked to leave the part immediately.

Nacho Libre sez: Please Halloween adults, think for yourselves.

This demand is in no way an indictment against the film, which I’m sure will be very hilarious or its makers, who I’m sure are very creative. It’s directed at the unimaginative fat guys who are already planning the ruin of my favorite day of the year.


In January, I ran down a long missing college friend who now pays the bills by running a chain of movie theaters in central West Virginia. While chatting in the theater’s manager’s office about the Passion of the Christ* he tossed off a one-liner about a Larry the Cable Guy movie. I naturally thought he was making it up. But, I’ll be damned. My Git-R-Dun blue knit cap will need to be retired. Ironic on any level? Sorry, but no.

*The reference was that the town’s expected excitement between the films would be similar. He also claimed that one patron walked out of the Passion and took a swing at him. The man felt he had been tricked into seeing the movie and that the R rating was inadequate in representing its level of violence. The film's brutality did not accurately portray the message of peace in the Bible. My friend offered to return the man’s money, at which point he threw the punch. Message of peace, indeed.

No comments: