does anyone want a mom? I'm considering selling mine. She's mostly in good condition. A little crazy, but nowadays, it's hard to find one that isn't.
She likes candles, shoes, gossip, and passive-aggressively picking fights with her children over the phone in the waning hours of the weekend. 5'9", short brown hair, career woman, pretty, makes great tortellini soup. Email w/ best offer.
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In other news, I went to the kite festival Saturday. We flew a pirate kite. I made a delicious meal last night for old coworkers, like, a pot roast, people. Insanity. The dog ate an entire box of cereal, resulting in a trip to the vet because of dehydration, where they gave him fluid injections that looks like boob implants. The D. gave me a folder for work , on the front it says "WWAUD?" ("What Would A Unicorn Do?") Options include "Posing On A Windy Cliff," "Frolicking Through A Flowery Meadow," etc. So this is the stance I'm taking with my mother nowadays- WWAUD?
Did I mention my dog has breast implants? Okay, just checking.
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2 comments:
1. Totally feelin' the funk in the Mother area.
2. DOES THAT SAY GWAR ON YOUR PIRATE KITE? ON THE FLAG?!
omg. what if the pirate kite said gwar. WHAT IF.
unfortunately, no. but a little white-out could easily handle that.
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