Monday, September 19, 2005

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS FUR

Black Dog (not my dog) is lucky I am not wearing him as a fucking COAT today.

Brown Dog (my dog) remains adorable and perfect.

Can you imagine how bad I'd be with actual children? Although I can't really imagine wanting to punt a human infant across the room as much as I wanted to kick the ass of the dog responsible for eating my new and expensive window treatments.

In total self restraint, I did not abuse the dog.

So. Furious. I can't even talk right now.



SAY GOODBYE

6 comments:

Grace said...

very bad dog

tom said...

sadly, this is what happens when you forget to ask the sales guy which curtains are the least delicious

The Governess said...

It's fiberboard, or NuWood, or PVC, or some such Home Despot marketing-speak. Definitely not pressed Cheetos or anything.

Oh, Tom, I don't want to be a murderer. But I'm afraid I might do it.

tom said...

Well, I won't stop you. Long experience with Catherine has taught me not to try to talk a woman out of murdering. Yyou just have to let them get it out of their systems.

Kriston said...

Lucky that my dog is afraid of all things edible and inedible, which is, I suppose, all things.

Ethan Wiggum said...

you could sell him to your local PHO 75. that way it wouldn't be murder, technically, but he sure wouldn't be alive anymore. plus, no messy clean-up.