Black Dog (not my dog) is lucky I am not wearing him as a fucking COAT today.
Brown Dog (my dog) remains adorable and perfect.
Can you imagine how bad I'd be with actual children? Although I can't really imagine wanting to punt a human infant across the room as much as I wanted to kick the ass of the dog responsible for eating my new and expensive window treatments.
In total self restraint, I did not abuse the dog.
So. Furious. I can't even talk right now.