Thursday, September 07, 2006

Nerf Nerf. Not for use with crotch

Attention blog, I apologize for ignoring you. You deserve better.

It’s still in the low 80’s right? We could still go down to the crick and go swimming. It’s still summer. Ish. Right?

Nay, says CVS. While I’ve long accepted that our local, crappy pharmacy serves as the nation’s unofficial calendar based solely on the junk they push on their seasonal aisle, I was surprised to see how fast they kicked summer to the curb. Usually the Halloween candy, 4th of July buntings, Easter Peeps, Thanksgiving candy turkeys, etc go through gradual clearance sales – 10%, 50%, 75% off. But summer was grabbed by the elbow and given a quick escort to bins for misfit squirt guns. It had to make way for fall colored scarecrows and what is labeled as on sale, “Back to School” candy. However, I go the manager to admit that it was actually the same price as the candy on the other aisles and the “back to school” stickers were extra ones from the Bratz notebook sale.

Also, they are now selling for - quick little math here - $1.49 the generic version of the SNL fake Nerf Crotch Rocket. On the show, it was a comical 30 seconds of Chris Farley hijinks. In reality it’s now a toy design based solely on the idea of shooting adults in the applebag with a foam missile. Or babies in the face. Both are worth one-fifty. But the G says no more crap in the house or the walls might fall outward. I say a crotch missile will keep looters at bay.

And speaking of People’s Drug, if you are ever asked for change by a young man outside any CVS in the Golden Triangle do not give it up. I’ve seen this one fellow, who claims to be homeless, coming out of a rather upscale restaurant AND at the airport getting ready to board the shuttle to NY. Even if he plays the crazy card by wearing Flava Flav clock and doing sit-ups in the street - in the snow - it’s some sort of scam. Don’t buy in.


rock_ninja said...

I know EXACTLY the guy you're talking about, and I saw him eating at Vidalia!!

gwadzilla said...

are there any more rockets?

watch the blur passing your desk

gwadzilla said...

we have been talking halloween at our house for weeks already...

then again

our halloween door mat is only slighly covered by a standard woven mat on our front porch