Monday, September 11, 2006


Despite the aesthetic issues I have with the town website (so... much... script... font...), Lexington, Va is indeed v. beautiful. Sure sure, rolling hills of green and morning mist and coffee on the veranda and old friends and marital formal wear and wine and caterers who bring delicious crab dip, but I was mostly referring to cadets hitting on 19-year olds with popped collars at the Palms. I'm telling you, to witness that is to witness a freaking theatre production. A thing of great beauty. I expected some scrawny one to bust out with "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" at any moment.


- The wedding of my oldest college friend was surprising and even bordered on sweet, esp. for a person I never thought would get married. He is now a stepparent, to a teenager, which is the ultimate of freaking insanity and i kind of still can't talk about it without my pulse racing for the fear of our nation's future citizens being raised by.... J. There were about 40 people there, and I counted 3 of us who are friends with J, plus spouses. Everyone else was a relative. J apparently has 25 stepbrothers and stepsisters from all over the globe (Arkansas). Also, even in a tux he looks like a Colombian drug lord.

- The ceremony (detailing how DIFFICULT the bride and groom's lives are out in the big sick city of LA, which was a different approach to a marriage ceremony?) was held on top of a mountain at his parent's bed and breakfast, which rivals a movie set, so I've decided to quit my job and move down to the country and open a bed and breakfast clean rooms at someone elses bed and breakfast just so I can wake every morning to stare wistfully out at the rolling landscape below me as I drink a perfect cup of coffee and pet my well-behaved Golden Retriever. I suppose the dream ends when I have to scrub someone else's bodily fluids out of the shower/sink/toilet, but, you know. Sacrifices and such.

- Other celebration attendees included fellow Chandler Hall alumni AL and his pal Steve (or maybe his name was Ed?), having driven 12 hours from Ohio via Knoxville, which makes no sense but is keeping in perfect character. I hadn't seen AL since 1997, and I'm pretty sure no one knew who Steve/Ed? was, I sincerely believe he was nothing more than a driving partner. At one point AL was sitting next to me a started talking to himself, reading from a slip of paper he found inside a bag of jordan almonds:* "'Wishing J & S health, wealth, happiness, and a long life full of love.' See I don't really wish him wealth. Like, maybe moderate income." I'm pretty sure AL and Steve/Ed? spent that night in their car. I don't think they took me up on the brilliant suggestion to just walk around town knocking on dorm room doors til someone let them in.

- It is always hard to be around AL, because you are never really sure if you are fully in on the joke. He's kind of like a sedated Andy Kauffman, if a sedated Andy Kauffman was a music teacher in the midwest. Most of the time, he is making fun of you in his mind. No, really. You aren't overthinking that. And, he probably hates you.

- I wore a dress that was so revealing I hard a hard time making sure my tits weren't falling out every five minutes, so I'm pretty sure that's gonna be the topic of jokes between AL and J for at least a few years. Happy to provide source material, folks.

- And I'm pretty sure Steve/Ed? was on drugs.

- I am also pretty sure that J's mom was wasted by the end of the afternoon, as we saw her walking around the reception with a flyswatter in one hand and a glass of zinfandel in the other, aimlessly swinging at things. His parents are the most lovely people in the universe, so should you ever find yourself in Lexington, Va, do I have a setup for you, internet.

- In other news, I also learned that B, the only other college person in attendance besides AL and I, is the patrol sponsor at his local elementary school. Pretty great for some reason, I can't really pinpoint why.

Thus ends our wedding weekend. There is one less wedding on my Great 2006 Wedding Excel Spreadsheet now. We are reluctantly home. I have an exceptionally dirty homestead to attend to before hitting the road to Ann Arbor on Thursday.

* * *

Today, among other things, is my brother's birthday. Last night I traveled to my parents house. My mom made steaks, and bro's Most Glorious Girlfriend and I bonded over the fact that we like Discovery Health medical mystery shows, and then found out my mom still had "Worlds Smallest People: Primordial Dwarves" saved on Tivo, then proceeded to go into the basement to watch it and ignore the rest of the family for the entire night.

Happy birthday dude.

My dad is having an MRI today as well, which goes into a whole thing re: my father being bedridden recently, which is not nearly as great as it sounds.

* * *

In other news, someone told me the Gossip was at Black Cat this weekend. Meh!

Thu end.

* * *

(Not the end! AW REUNITE!?!?!?)

* jordan almonds are disgusting.


banonymous said...

what?!?! 19-y.o. at the palms? never! It was (and to the best of my knowledge, remains) a JRs/SRs-only establishment. With the worst food ever.

The Governess said...

the palms was full of townies, cadets, and freshman in popped collars drinking diet cokes.