the good mood report

- BD is a total asshole. Going along with the N's incapability to figure out irony - is it "ironic" that I was the one pushing for a dog, and that dog relishes in making my life difficult? And yet believes my husband actually walks on fucking water? Obviously some sort of Higher Power has a shitty sense of humor. Anyways, the N has been out of town the past few days, and the dog is on a holy rampage. There has been something very heavy and ornate broken, amazing really, since I didn't think the thing that was broken could be broken. How's that for detailed? Also, if you've never picked plastic trash bag remnants out of an animal's bowel movements, then you aren't living, internet.

- Re: all things family disentegration, my father has been upped to Percocet which acording to reports "takes the edge off a little a least(?!??!!)", and if you were considering sticking with an HMO for any reason, let's make a date to sit down and talk about it. I've got a list of all the reasons why you should reconsider. No really, a list. On a scroll. Written in calligraphy. Sometimes a trumpeter appears before I read from it. My mother has been calling me crying only once or twice a day about their upcoming nonrefundable European wedding anniversary trip. Good times.

- I leave for a road trip to Michigan on Thursday in a van full of rabid Billy Joel fans.

* * *

It's a good thing last weekend was so lovely, because thus far? Suck it, universe.

Here, this will make us all feel better: food on a stick, and I think I mentioned that the Afghan Whigs are reuniting, which means I can officially pretend to be 20 again.

Unrelated, is anyone out there a gardener/amateur landscaper? How willing are you to correspond with an individual who regularly kills most all plants via neglect, and who's dog eats the plastic ones, so we can't even go that hillbilly route? I need some low-maintenance planting advice. Thanks. L'chiam.