...

- whaaaaaat: HEAD! DANCE! NOW!

- hilarious: "About Last Kiss"



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I wasn't going to say say a word re: the obvious, just because... well, it's the obvious. Today grosses me most everyone, to be sure, out for a variety of no-shit kind of reasons. I spent a long time this morning talking to a neighbor about the weather n dogs n crap, just kind of avoiding usual conversation. Finally she said "I dunno, I just lost my job. And my dad's birthday would have been today if he was still alive. But none of those reasons are why I'm sad, and it's weird. I think I'm going to do yardwork and just not really talk to anyone."

Every year today I think of a few people besides my bro- John Yamnicky; Juan Cruz; and a girl by the name of Maura.

One was a coworker at the time, someone I didn't really know but who once held a door open for me. John was a hard face to forget.

One is the dad of a college classmate, alive but badly injured, and I remember when she moved back to Va to be with him. Although we didn't keep in touch, I'm sure she's still here. I'm sure she'll never leave.

And one, the one I actually think about most often is Maura. Maura is my age exactly, and was the girlfriend of a guy who attended my college. I never met him, he was friends-of-friends-of-friends. After reading his obituary, he seemed very familiar, but that might have been because he reminded me of so many of my college friends and even my spouse - well-liked, smart, an easy smile, and apparently a lover of both guitar and Star Wars. According to his obituary, Matt had asked his family for advice on ring purchasing for his soon-to-be-fiancee, Maura. I had never heard Maura's name before, other than that obituary. Maura was a stranger.

I have never met Maura. I thought for a long time that I had no idea who she was. I did't know where she lived, or what she did for a living, or what she did for fun. I didn't know anything about her, other than that she was Matt's girlfriend, and never got to be Matt's wife. But every year, without fail, I thought of a total stranger named Maura because she just seemed, much like her boyfriend, someone I looked up only because we went to the same college, to be familiar.

And then I realized today that in my latest career, I actually do know Maura. I have talked to her several times. I just now made the connection.

And the world just got exceedingly small, kind of zoomed in and got fuzzy and black and odd, and I shut down my email for a little while, and stopped answering my phone.