At least it's better than Danecookton

Until recently I was part of the, let’s say, 95% of the nation’s population that was contently living their lives, happily unaware of the existence of a man named Dax Shepard. That innocence was tainted last week during the run-up to Jessica Simpson’s Palme d’Or winning performance in Debbie Does Costco.

I consulted a member of the generation below mine for an explanation about this Mr. Shepard. It seems that this two year age disparity was an adequate enough age difference between us for he knew precisely who I was referring to.

Apparently, Dax is a comedic actor whose most well known role before this most recent movie was playing an asshole on Punk’d. He’s also in the new Mike Judge movie that the studio is refusing major release. According to his IMDB resume is in exactly zero productions I have ever seen.

However, he is in the first post-Arrested Development film with Will Arnett. It’s currently a toss up whether I will see this movie, with my allegiance to G.O.B. battling the ill-will I have toward Shepard. (Also in play: on one side my best man looks more like Arnett with every centimeter of hairline he loses and that’s awesome vs. how terrible the trailer looks.)

But why so much enmity toward a man I did not know existed until two weeks ago? Well, I have reason to believe that he may hold a corrupting and unhealthy influence over my cousin.

Last August we welcomed to new members to the Pyggy family. A new cousin, Lilly Colleen Pyggy, was named after my great aunts. We were all very excited and my grandfather was especially touched that his sisters’ names were being continued down the family line. But when I talked to my grandmother the day after the other Pyggy was born, a similar enthusiasm was not there. In fact, she wasn’t even certain about the name’s origin.

It seems that my cousin’s wife has handed all naming responsibility to him. In the version I heard shortly after the birth the story goes that he saw a name in some movie’s credits and thought it was neat. But it was too short so he added -TON to the end.

And so we have Daxton.

The name is not unheard of or completely made up. It is a legitimate variation of the name Dax, which itself is a reference to the French town.

But still Dax Sheppard?

The only way this could worse (be) is if he’s named after the Star Trek: DS9 character.