Wednesday, July 20, 2005

D'oh-cone

I magically came into possession into Sno-Cone today.

It tasted cold and delectable especially since it was already 310 degrees Kelvin at
8am. What was not delectable was that I still don't have the hand/eye/mouth coordination required to eat Sno-cones.

If my calculations are correct, nearly half of all attempts to eat frozen food stuffs by a child ends with the treat disastrously on the ground. Here are the three most common causes:

  1. An unbalanced and/or overly aggressive lick causes ice cream to spill off cone onto sidewalk.
  2. An uneven attack pattern causes an unbalanced popsicle to spill off stick onto sidewalk.
  3. An uneven and/or overly aggressive squeeze causes Sno-cone to spill out of paper wrapper onto sidewalk.


I’m no Mr. Wizard, but it seems that as a grown up with passing marks in physics and a minor in Oceanography, I would have a grasp on these by now. Unfortunately, with no sidewalk nearby, my Sno-cone spilled mostly on my pants.


What remains of the day, remains on my pants.

A good bit also fell into my shoes which, out of solidarity with that girls Lacrosse team, were flip-flops. Actually, it was just out of solidarity with young Fallon.

1986? Christ.

Anyblay, it was good while it lasted. Tomorrow, I'm going to tackle one of them Frogger popsicles with bubblegum for eyeballs.

5 comments:

topic15 said...

Do they even still sell fat frogs (frog popsicle with gumball eyes)? I wonder if Fat Frog is sensitive about being called fat. Husky frog or big boned frog while less searing, just don't have the same ring. As for the whole snow-cone debacle, stick with slush puppies. That's where it's at. (until you have the third sip and all of the syrup mysteriously vanishes and you are left with a cup of ice pellets).

The Governess said...

i had a sno-cone last night (red flavor!) at the Nats game, and let me tell you -the magic is gone.

Or maybe it was just because the nabob drank the flavoring out, leaving me with a hunk of melting ice in a cup.

Kriston said...

What about the TMNT pop? You can still get one from every vendor on the Mall. Not an updated pop from the new universe that doesn't even feature Krang, either—I'm talking Napolean Bonafrog-era TMNT. I mean, they're frozen, right, so they can't go bad.

The Governess said...

some incredibly, incredibly harsh freezer burn in a half shell, I'd imagine.

tom said...

Sno-cone failure? No offense, Nabob, but you might want to start with the gumball-nose clown pop and work your way up to the frog. Dual gumballs sounds a little advanced.