Thursday, July 28, 2005
As I Lay Sweating
The Nabob and I got into a discussion about Faulkner while watching "Family Guy" the other night. (Obviously.) Most of the discussion concerned whether "As I Lay Dying" or "The Sound and the Fury" was written from the POV of Benjy, the retarded brother. This went on for several minutes. Regardless of the fact that it was 11:30 at night and 450 degrees in our attic, I was seconds away from climbing up to find my box of high school papers and mementos to prove I was right. (Is it sad that this is, what, the second time I've mentioned on this blog that I once wrote a really long paper on Faulkner in HS? Because, listen: I was an art major. We didn't have to "write" "papers." And then, I got a "job." HS was my last chance to shine in the glory of my own perceived award-winning wordsmith....uh...ing. Wordsmithing.)
(Sidenote: Yes, I have a box of high school shit. I'm bringing letter jackets back one day - just you wait.)
The Nabob mentioned that Hemispheres magazine holds an annual "Faux Faulkner" contest. Since I am in a new-ish job, and am no longer required to travel 2 weeks out of every month, (later, Orlando, Florida! If I see your convention center again in my life, it's still too soon) I'm lacking knowledge of airplane publications. (Secret Shame #6: I actually think most airline mags are pretty solid, all things considered. If you forget a book or neglect to purchase a $6.50 People magazine from a newsstand, you're toast. One can only read SkyMall so many times. (Lord Of The Rings Jewelry! Authentic, registered, and 24k gold! Or, you can order those foreign language tapes from the black-blazer wearing blonde, who's hair is in a bun. B B B, what begins with B?) So, I'll hand it to the airlines - and if you're looking to hire, let me know.)
So, this contest has been held since 2000 or so. Rumor has it, this is the first year that the winner won't actually be published in the hard-copy of the magazine: it will only be available on the web.