Tuesday, May 24, 2005

You Can Math Anything if You Number It

So, we're 12 days in, and yrs truly is curious: does anyone read blogs anymore?

I'm thinking the answer is "no", and we're played out. God, do I love traveling at the Speed of Trend.

In case you were wondering, I've been working on my Summer 2005 Goals:

1. Drink beer.
2. In my front yard.
3. In an inflatable baby pool.
4. Grand idea seen elsewhere: preferably wearing a black glitter bikini.
5. Also, read Kavalier & Clay so I can stop pretending like I already have read it when people talk about it in groups. I know, I'm 15 years behind on this.
6. Seriously, get my car inspected already before the fuzz tracks me down.
7. Build some sort of amusement park. Mebbe in honor of Jesus.

Also, dog.

Anyone who's willing to help on all this, pls. inform TOUTE SUITE. thanks.

12 comments:

Susan said...

I'm beginning to think I must know you in real life. Or if I don't, probably I should.

The Governess said...

no joke. must hang. have referenced your Sith entry 1 million times since reading.

by the way, i saw the same photo of MKO last night and turned to the Husband and was all, "the fuck? That is scary, who does she look like?"

I was thinking it was the little midget guy from the soap "passions," but you were so so so much more correct with the ET reference.

Elvis said...

My list for you, Madam:

1. Drink something other than cocktails made of my car battery acid.
2. In someone else's back yard.
3. with my feet in kiddie pool, wearing water wings.
4. Preferably wearing my Elvis Vegas sunglasses, and saffron pants.
5. Also, read Instruction Manual for Sony KX-P115 DVD/STEREO AMP/DISHWASHER so I can stop pretending like I know the answer when people ask me why the hell my stereo keeps shaking. I know, techonology; it's a real bitch.
6. Seriously, pay the bill when I go out on dates instead of telling my dates that "I'll be right back" and pretend to go to the bathroom, when really, I'm sneaking out the back.
7. Build a 20 foot statue in my neighbor's yard to honor the Egyptian God Ra, by night and for no other reason than to see his expression when he realizes he just screwed the real estate value of the whole neighborhood.

The Governess said...

that is so reminiscent of my old hood:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A1396-2004Sep6.html

The Deceiver said...

I like pretending I've read DeLillo's UNDERWORLD.

I also like pretending that I really, really, really want to read ULYSSES.

The Governess said...

I have also never read Brave New World, despite being assigned it probably six times in high school. Interest? NIL.

Rampant, inexplicable lying works for other things too, the lying....The Duchess did this with "Donnie Darko" for like, five months. Went so far as to DESCRIBE PLOTLINES to her coworkers. Never had seen it. Or even knew what it was about, really.

D. come defend yrsef'.

the Nabob said...

the Nabob fears the Governess is getting all "Natalie Dee" over this whole dog thing.

http://www.nataliedee.com/120604/thinkin-bout-dog.jpg

Underused said...

How about a black rhinestone encrusted bikini? I make them custom using my Bedazzler.

It's best to set your goals low. That way, when you accomplish them you can look down on those with loftier goals as miserable failures. "What, you *still* haven't cured cancer? It's, like, already August."

The Governess said...

what can i say: I love dogs.

and I hate cats. I'm pretty sure they're responsbile for things like circus peanuts, and Candlebox.

Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

Wow...I have stumbled into AP Wit & Lit...can I sit in the corner and just read?

Tammy Faye said...

Get in touch with me about the Jesus amusenent park, I have some experience there.

Michelle said...

All very noble pursuits. Especially reading Kavalier and Clay, which is on my bookshelf as well, and I haven't read.

But I claim to because, hey, my former book club read it. I didn't, though.