Thursday, June 29, 2006

"I see these vampires sucking my blood. I ain't wit it."

if you don't have chi-town's critical, dahling on yr bloglines or whatever, then you are wrong about things.

The new rule is that you are not allowed to compare any record or band to another record or band "on [some drug]" unless you have done the drug you are referencing. The other day I saw a quote on some singer-songwriter's one-sheet that said he sounded "like Elvis Costello on angel dust." Which is wrong. Elvis Costello on angel dust would sound like Elvis Costello yelling at a wall. Needless to say, this dude in particular did not sound like Elvis Costello yelling at a wall.*
It really is true that you don't have to do drugs to be cool. I know a lot of good people who have only ever like tried weed a couple of times and decided they didn't like being on drugs, and getting busted on drug-frontin is way worse than saying, "Sorry, I was totally straight-edge until I turned 26 and decided to start drinking martinis because they looked fun," or whatever your experience was. People dropping references to someone "tripping on heroin" give me extreme "bags of sand"-style douche chills.

*Another thing: ODB, Sly Stone, and Shaun Ryder are the only people to have ever made a decent recording while smoking cocaine, so unless you're trying to compare an artist to one of these three musicians, do not say they sound like "[somebody] on crack." Crack doesn't make you automatically start rocking out spazzy, artsy music; it just makes you want to smoke more crack.

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