Remember that party I threw a couple years back when I still lived in Arlington? Fun times. And we all got pretty blasted? You were still there when the keg was kicked, right? And we broke into the moonshine the The D brought back from school? Oh man, that was great. We called you cab so you could make it home safe but you knelt down behind my old truck to boot and he didn’t see you? Then he drove off and when we called the cab company they wouldn’t come back? You said you were going to walk home but we wouldn’t let you because it as at least 5 miles, so we had to call another cab company. And then you passed out in the front yard, so that cab missed you too. I found you at 4am in the bushes and dragged you by your feet into the house and you slept on the floor. It wasn’t easy because you’re 6’5” and one of your shoes came off. Remember all that?
I certainly do. But I didn’t tell the background check investigator who came by my office to interview me about your security clearance any of it. Even when he specifically asked if I had ever known you to abuse alcohol.
You lucked out too because the investigator was a retired Fed and worked with my grandfather back in the good old days of the Company. We spent most of the time talking about him. It also means we never got around to that time a priest had you arrested in church for passing out drunk in the pews during a Mother’s Day service. But he probably knows about that already.
I don’t know why you put me on your list of character contacts.