Monday, May 08, 2006

It was at Sweaty Guy and Spam's house! And our fearless leader was there!

The thing I was doing that made it so I could only update about once is week is over. And I have about a million updates that are on backlog. Real quick, knock some out.

Item! Anniversary dinner: At 9:43am yesterday, the better half (or fourth) of this site posted an entry that indicated that it was our anniversary. At 9:44am yesterday, I figured I better make dinner reservations. Called a small, well regarded restaurant and acquired a 7pm table for two. No problem, she said, we’ll call you if there are any issues. But upon arrival at 6:55 we're informed by the front desk that there is a significant problem for the restaurant is closed on Mondays and they don’t understand how anyone could have taken our reservation.

In fact, the restaurant burned down 10 years ago! 10 years ago, this very night! And the woman I spoke with died in the fire. And they never found her body! And when I redialed the number I from my cell phone the message said it was no longer in service! And when we went back to the car there was a hook stuck in the door handle!

OK. That last graph didn’t actually happen.

But the restaurant indeed was not open on Mondays and the front desk indeed did not know why the morning shift would have taken our reservation. They were very apologetic though, and offered us several dining option in the neighborhood within walking distance. When we agreed on one, they called ahead and secured us a table. The dinner turned out to be quite good, but not great, and the evening was far from ruined. Although I had tried my best.

---------------

Item! The cell phone conversation I would have had with myself if one of me had access to a computer in my car on Saturday afternoon:

I swear I just saw a peacock run across the GW Parkway on Saturday near Turkey Run Park! Yes yes, I know that there is a better chance that I saw a turkey run across the street at Turkey Run Park but the thing had green plumage and a long tail. Though it may have been a peahen instead of a peacock. It was at least a peafowl of some kind. Or it could have been a roadrunner. It was going pretty fast.

Huh. Now that I’ve just wiki’ed what a peacock looks like I’m leaning back toward turkey because there was no way what I saw looked that ridiculous. But at least this is proof positive that Turkey Run Park is still the home of some manner of large, running bird. Maybe it was a cassowary. But most likely it was a roc or rhea or one of the other fake birds that Will Shortz makes up for crossword puzzles.

---------------------

Item! The G failed to mention that we went to the most bumpin’ party EVAH on Friday night. It took place in Arlington and rocked like 1999 and I don’t mean that in a Prince-y way but in a way to suggest that there were 500 people there and the streets were closed down and the cops showed up and the fuzz popped it. So it was just like 1999 in college except the cops probably didn’t have riot gear like they routinely did when I was in school.

Other ways is was like college:
  • There were acres of people play flip cup and beer pong.
  • There were a lot of 22 year olds with orangish skin.
  • There was terrible keg protocol.
  • There was a gril crying in the street cause her BF wasn’t paying enough attention.
  • There were crotchety townies who called the cops when they caught someone peeing in their yard.
  • The G got hit on as soon as her date went to get her more beer.
  • I sold K out when I told the guy hitting on the G that although she was married, K was single. And my tone implied “desperate.”
Ways it was not like college:
  • There was a loaded handgun found under the deck the next morning.
  • Said deck did not collapse on the wrestling team.
  • I was accused of being Eire-insensitive when I announced the arrival of the paddy wagon.
And there was a sense of things being circular this weekend. The last time I actually took flight from the police was from a high school house party in Fairfax. On the way out, a large TV was knocked down the stairs and busted up pretty badly. I didn’t know the person who was throwing the jam, just a friend of a friend who went to private school, and only found out later that the house’s real owners were friends of my parents. A decade later that friend of my mom’s hosted a wedding shower for the G. A wedding that celebrated its second anniversary last night and no TV was broken.

Hmm. That’s not really circular. It’s more roundish and lumpy with a slow hissing leak. Like a pogo ball if you take the plastic ring off.

Item! Stay tuned! For tomorrow I will begin setting Icelandic-Pygmalion relations back 500 years!

1 comment:

tom said...

That was a pretty big backlog of hilarity. I guess you probably had a lot of time to plan blog posts while you were sitting still doing that-which-must-not-be-named.