Monday, July 30, 2007

HEY! You NEVER throw books!

It’s pretty much agreed, by those who follow these sorts of things, that of all the movies featuring the American military taking up arms against a series of increasingly voracious dragons, Reign of Fire is the film that most squanders this potentially awesome idea. This fact was verified this past Saturday when it aired on Spike or TBS or USA or TNT or FX or whatever other channel shows dude movies over the weekends.

However, it should be noted that since the cast features Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey, and Gerard Butler the film should be qualified not as an action/sci-fi disaster but more as the sexiest movie of all time, based on the secret equations formulated by the scientists at People Magazine.

8 comments:

The Governess said...

why does that movie suck so. bad.

Emily said...

OK, I have a factual question about Reign of Fire. Don't you think it's *strongly* implied that the male "king" impregnates the lady dragons by just sort of flying around everywhere and "raining down" his potent dragonsperm atop them? Tom and I have been arguing about this crucial plot point for over a month now.

Tom said...

I really don't think that's the pun that the title was going for. But you're right: at this point we need impartial arbitrators.

I wish I could agree with the post, but the sad truth is that the market is seriously underserving those of us who want to see dragons fight tanks.

Emily said...

I'm not saying that was the POINT of the title. Just a happy coincidence.

the Nabob said...

I'm not sure I understand tom's argument. Is it that the bull dragon was not fertilizing millions of eggs at a time or that he was not doing so at a distance of 30,000 feet?

Tom said...

I say the lady dragons would come to the bull dragon to get their business taken care of. HEIGHTS of 30,000 feet seem plausible. But no, not distances.

the Nabob said...

After reading several scripts, reviews and dissections, I believe I know the answer. However, I am unwilling to admit conducting such research and therefor will not go on the record.

Emily said...

Potential solution: Post your findings anonymously in a Reign of Fire fan forum, then link to it and say "I agree with this chap PonyFace69" (or whatever else you decide your alias should be, although I can't imagine why you'd choose something other than PonyFace69).