Friday, June 15, 2007

Hello, son. Would you want to try the flying motorcycle I just invented?

There’s been some major infrastructure repair going on in the streets near the stately Pygmalion Manor. Blacker and stickier roads! Bone-white sidewalks replacing the old collapsed ones destroyed by a winter of over-salting! Lego-like paving bricks to prevent baby strollers from carelessly rolling into oncoming Jettas!

The new sidewalks are the most exciting since wet cement is the most appetizing artistic medium to any 12-year-old boy and man-idiots like me. But time after time, the new sections were all dried up by the time I got home. It was like driving down Bladensburg by Hogs on the Hill and you smell the BBQ but you’re late and can’t stop. Also, you only have $3 in your wallet and there are no banks nearby. Plus Florida Avenue is still all backed up with construction and when you drive by this one house you see people just sitting inside on their laptops when they should be at real jobs. And your hungry and there was BBQ back there.

That’s what dry cement is like, Capps.

But then I found a wet patch a few weeks back. First, I pretended I was Remo Williams and ran across without falling in. Then I moon walked through it. Finally I had the dog do a little canine jig on it.

And you know what? It looks like pure Scheiße. I regret it up and down. If I catch my kid doing anything like it I will tan him six ways until Caturday.

I’m back baby!

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