I suppose it was due. I've spent 800 billable hours at emergency rooms with the N (shoulder, teeth, ankle, knee, full body blow, concussion, staples, the list goes on), so it's only fair that he hang with me in Alexandria INOVA emergency room til 2:30 AM, watchin' on the Eukaneuba Dog Show and blowing up medical gloves into what resembled rooster crowns (all the better to perform the "Arrested Development" Gob dance with.) The Xray tech's name was Bob and he asked me if "I fell off a boat, too?" (what? no. who boats in the middle of the night? what? confused? huh?) Also, there was a nurse on duty who had made soup for the overnight ER staff and was serving it from a CAULDRON (seriously). The N told me they were making my potions and poultices. Instead, they gave me Vicodin. I LOVE YOU, ER! I cannot relay to you how much funnier yr little pill bottle made the Reg & Kelly 20th anniversary show this morning.
Besides all this last night, my spouse and the remainder of my local family had a plane to catch to Iowa in less than twelve hours, so why NOT snap an ankle or two. Awesome timing, dipshit!
I am strongly considering hooking the dogs into some sort of chariot apparatus to pull me to Galaxy Hut for grilled cheese. Anyhooos, my stellar vball season is officially over and I have crutches that are one inch too big for me since I live in a family of giants.
More later, maybe even pictures. I'm off to cut some sweet deals with uninsured people with busted ribs for my extra Vics. Capps says pills are worth his other ribs. I can make my own woman out of them, so I'm considering his offer.