Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Seriously, if he fucks up one more time I’m going to sell him to Michael Vick.

The deal brokered with BD when he came to stay with us was a simple one: he would sleep on the floor at night and not chew up our stuff. Those terms were violated immediately. Fortunately, in the last year he seems to have grown out of his whole “I checked* and have decided to eat all your wedding gifts priced at $120 or higher” phase. But he still didn’t sleep on the floor.

That ended Monday.

There really isn’t much to say here. Chewing = out. Digging a hole into the mattress down to the springs = teh new dogness.

There’s a store down the street next to Five Guys that sells used mattresses. But the signs are only in Spanish so I’m gonna need someone to come with me to help translate/bargain.

*I’ve got a friend who married this horrible woman. Their divorce proceedings lasted longer than the marriage. He discovered that if you search for his exes' name on Wedding Channel you can not only still buy gifts for his old wedding but also for her new wedding. He asks that in lieu of gifts you send her one of those bubonic infected squirrels that the monkeys love to eat.


Kanishka said...

Dude, quit hiding meat in your mattress.

the g said...

he's just lucky that was the piece of crap mattress we used to let guests sleep on, instead of my glorious wonderful perfect brand-new mattress. Because then he would have been killed.

Kat A Tat Tat said...

oh my gosh! that sounds horrible! Would you mind if I use your picture for a spotlight on one of my company websites? I manage and try to use real pets for the photos I use, crediting you of course. This picture just seems perfect for some of the pieces we do on the site. Email me at if you wouldn't mind us using it!!