Bishop to Duke, checkmate

What good is an internets if you can’t do good. Or at least not do evil.

At Bishop Ireton HS this morning, some kid named Jarel posted a giant sign at the schools entrance that read “Michelle, will you go to prom with me?” But crusty old Principal Vernor or Sister Ireton or however crushes children’s spirits in Catholic schools made him take it down only after a few minutes. We do not know if Michelle saw the sign before it was removed. The whole thing happened in the time it took me to buy a dozen donuts.

You tried Jarel, you honestly tried. It’s not as good as Theo hiring a helicopter to take his date to prom, but you still have time. So if you’re reading this Michelle, and you arrived to school a little bit late, Jarel would really like to go to prom with you. Having only seen him across the street through a Dunkin’ Donuts window, I can accurately say that he’s a good kid and you’ll have a fun time. Michelle, you only get to go to your senior prom with that special guy once* so please appreciate the 10 minutes and entire duct tape roll that went into Jarel’s efforts.

*Unless you’re the G who went to 4 consecutive proms with older guys, starting when she was in 8th grade, but then bailed on her own when she was a senior. Or at least I think that’s what she told me, but I was too busy reminiscing about all those touchdowns I was scored and cheerleaders I was dated and nerds I stuffed in lockers.