Dear Mom:
One would think you would know better than to put your exceptionally crass offspring onto speaker phone without prior warning, and then inquire as to said offspring's opinion on the character of someone from offspring's past.
I would assume the cackling laughter I heard immediately after my delightful comment did not belong to you. So how'd ye spin that one?
Love,
Your Daughter
PS - S. would like to add "if she wanted a daughter with poise and tact she should have sent you to finishing school."
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