The Pyggy household has embarked on a post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas diet nicknamed “No Eggnog for Fatty,” and while I can’t speak for The G, as I’m concerned it has been a stunning success. Here’s how it works:
1. Go out of town for three weekends for a wedding, Thanksgiving and a wedding. Remain uncomfortably full for the entire time.
2. Complain that pants are too tight.
3. Sprain ankle to limit exercise.
4. Allow spouse to buy South Beach friendly foods.
5. Follow diet for two days: salad, salad, salad.
6. Accept case of heavy, seasonal Sam Adams beer as a gift from co-worker.
7. Spectacular fall of diet wagon when spouse attends volleyball game one night: Drink several beers, eat entire box of Wheat Thins, a couple of pizza slices and half gallon of orange juice.
8. Contract stomach virus*, stay in bed, sleep, watch Slither and/or Ice Pirates.
9. Lose 8 pounds.
Success! Enjoy the laughter with your friends as your pants fall off in a comical fashion!
Bring on the eggnog for skinny!
*the Taco Bell comment has already been delivered. But I did waste a few seconds trying to remember if I had eaten there. Or at Taco John’s, the Canada of fast food Mexican restaurants.