quickly, quickly: Friday we ate our weight in crabs, made googly eyes at a really cute baby. The groom bought me jewelry, which was slightly adorable. I watched a mornings worth of Top Chef, got exceptionally lost on my way to the hotel even though Baltimore is the easiest city in the universe to navigate. Glass breaking, Irish music, a really strange hired rabbi that made several references to his drinking problem. I wrote out the ketubah, which I think means the groom and I are now married. The N did not drop the chuppah (yay!) After the ceremony we stiffed a cab (sorry, cab drivers of Baltimore!) and snagged a ride to the reception The dudes were doin' well, even sporting 3-piece wool tuxedos in 1000000 degree temperature, and shortly afterwards sweating out Bombay and shots of Beam. There was a bar visit afterwards with a terrible cover band, bowls of Lays potato chips, drunken voicemails that I really, really hope the recipient deleted immediately (COLLEEN YR A WHOOOOOOORRRREEEEE) and several jokes about people dying in boating accidents. I don't know, don't ask.
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, the Pygs retire from wedding attendance, at least for a short while. Unless any family members pull a giant surprise or coworkers do the unimaginable, we have officially run out of friends. I will miss the open bars. I will not miss the strapless bras. god, i hate those fuckers.