Tuesday, February 05, 2008

There are no more Hummer Limos or sad sack party-goers from the suburbs

With so many Super things going on this week I nearly forgot that today was Super Free Boob Day down in N’arleans. Tomorrow, we sell all our stock in companies that make cheap plastic beads because the earning reports tomorrow are going to sink faster than a Tulane co-ed’s self respect tonight.

With Fat Tuesday comes the sad reminder that DC no longer has its own Mardi Gras-styled bar/roofie factory. Still. Sure, there are places where you can see Doug Hill take his shirt off (dear god I hope so) but if you want the real authentic New Orleans feeling, you probably have to drive to Baltimore. Or at least Bowie.

We spoke of Lulu’s passing last year with hushed and reverential voices. I also pretty much exhausted all I had to say about the place. It was a sleaze pit that was always way too humid and it smelled bad. But it served its purpose of keeping jerks and skanks away from the high class bars I was going to like the Brass Monkey or that one in Georgetown where you can’t wear a hat.

Much has changed since last February’s trot down to Lulu’s for the little memorial. First, we found out that there was going to be a Walgreens built on that sullied ground and we rejoiced. Then, one of those neighborhood newspapers said that the deal had fallen through and there was sorrow in all the land. For a while, it looked like crappy old CVS was going to maintain it’s strangle hold on our candy and pills, seeing it’s the only drugstore within 30 blocks that isn’t another CVS. But two month’s ago there was word that someone got their act together and Walgreens was coming back.

(I’ve only been to a Walgreen’s twice. The first was one in Missouri when I was lost and needed a map. The second time was in Wisconsin and I needed a Nerf football and a sweatshirt because I was flying to Hawaii. Both times, Walgreen had what I needed. My only reservation is that they seemed like they are claustrophobic-ly over-crowded with products. But this is a better option than any CVS, where the products are always under-stocked and/or on the floor in piles.)

Indeed, it looks like they are putting the finishing touches on Walgreens and soon CVS will never darken our lives again. If Lulu’s had to go, at least the space will serve a noble anti-CVS cause.

Of course, they also built a Starbucks.

My original plan was to march on down to the former Lulu’s site and present everyone with beads. It turns out, however, that the people at Starbucks aren’t really down with that. Also, I couldn’t find any beads. So I’ve had to rehash last year’s memorial.

I stole one set of giant beads from someone who’s out of town and went to work. I hope someone takes them off the fence and has a good time tonight.


Tom said...

You need beads? I got beads. Lots of beads.

the Nabob said...

I saw. Unfortunately, your pictures lacked any of the other half of the bead/boob equation to keep my attention.

Blogs t r e t c h said...

"The second time was in Wisconsin and I needed a Nerf football and a sweatshirt because I was flying to Hawaii. "

Don't pretend like that makes sense.

the Nabob said...

It makes total sense if you know the story behind it. It's telling, however, is forbidden in the bylaws of this site.

Anonymous said...


Gob's not board.