Wednesday, February 20, 2008

banjo fight

The best comedy on cable right now is something on the Food Network where ‘raglar ol’ folks battle it out in a faux-kitchen stadium (live audience!) over who has the best recipe for soup or friend chicken or whatever. I think it’s called “Food Fight" "Ultimate Recipe Showdown." It is soooooo stupid and yet suuuuuch a scream factory. I love it.

One, it’s hosted by Marc Summers, who can do no wrong in my opinion after throwing a coffee mug of water on Burt Reynolds back in the day; two, the jolliest bleached blonde Italian Guy named Guy ever, and three: The introductions of the contestants.

Oh god, the introductions. They are so awesome. The other night two women introduced themselves thusly:

“Hi, I’m Bridget, a stay at home Mom AND a Katrina Survivor!”

“Hi, I’m Ann! I run an online clock shop!”

. . . I am not even exaggerating that at all. If I could find it online, it would be the best animated GIF I ever made.

Do you remember the scene in “Grosse Pointe Blank” where Cusack is staring into the mirror minutes before he leaves for his high school reunion, nervously fidgeting with his tie, attempting to figure out the massive lie he’s going to tell to fellow alumni when they ask about about his chosen profession? “Online Clock Shop.”

I need TiVo just for this program alone.


My favorite song lately: Thao’s “Swimming Pool.” I was trying to tell the N. why I liked it and I had to fumble my way through it by making plucky-plucky motions and saying “you know, the sound like a guitar but not?”

“You mean banjo?”

So, right, I forgot the word “banjo.” I am amazing.


Tom said...

Friend Chicken sounds like a character in an adorable children's book. My nature makes me want to read that sentence to maximally gruesome effect, but I guess I do have to admit that you might just be sharing a recipe with Friend Chicken.

Also, Thao seems good. Thanks!

the g said...

awww, "friend chicken" sounds like a wonder pet. I'm leaving it.