Mofos, clowns are.

The New York Times business section is the part of the paper I get to last. It doesn’t have comics, like our Business section, and I don’t care about/understand half of the stuff in there. I’m also the last person under the age of 33 who doesn’t read it online, so when I IM the G and say “Didja see the Times article about camouflage cuttlefish?” and she say’s “link please” and I go “uh? The New York Times website,” she gets angered.

With these things in mind, I just got to yesterday’s business section a few minutes ago. I put it right down. Right there on the front page, right there for little kids to see, was a photo of my sworn enemy. The article accompanying the picture offers no explanation to why its there. All it does is show the horrifying visages of the terrifying German Clown Army.

My only run-in with them happened a few weeks back while riding a bus through the German country-side. I spotted the first one along a hedge about 200 yards off the road. Suddenly, about 50 of them came pouring out into a field, running full speed toward another hedge-line. Very Band OF Brothers. Later, while driving through a much more wooded area, I saw another bunch moving in and out of the forest and crossing the road. It was like that ambush scene in Children of Men except Clive Owen wasn’t there and everyone was dressed like sad hobos. Openly, I wish Julianne Moore got shot in the neck in my story too.

I’m not against whatever it is the Clown Army is for politically. I’m not even exactly sure what that is. I’m just uncomfortable with that many clowns moving in any one direction, with a single-minded motivation.



I took a picture of a mural drawn by some of the clowns depicting their oppression by the German police. Although I have no proof, I believe the scene occurred the opposite way it is sketched.