Of all our friends, I was voted most likely to have an affair! By my wife!

The conversation in which The G learned her daily nugget about moonshine was related to an earlier one where several people were discussing their hillbilly cred. You can help decide who among us is the heir to the Brotherhood of the Crimson Nape’s vast NASCAR fortune.

• When Subject A visits his/her family he/she discovers this:

It’s exactly what it says it is.

• When subject B’s spouse dies, he/she claims, “I’m going to take the money from your insurance policy and get new boobs. Just like my grandmother.”

• When Subject C and his/her spouse have children, theirs will be the first born in wedlock. The child will have 22 bastard cousins.

Who will it be? A, B, or C? Only you can decide.