Friday, October 05, 2007

blood tracks water

Unlike Tom, I’m an early adopter of razor technologies. In my 16 years of face shaving I’ve used a single, double, double/medicated aloe strip, triple, triple/medicated aloe strip, vibrating triple medicated aloe strip, quadruple, quintuple and quintuple + 1 bladed razors. The hidden cameras that Gillette installed in my bathroom picked up on this recently, so they sent me their latest 5 bladed model for free.

I tried it but when the single complimentary cartridge wore out, I didn’t buy any replacement. Both 4 and 5 bladed razors are too much for my fair face. Plus they are to expensive. I know these are sharpened pieces of steel, honed to their finest edges by sexiest Gillette scientists miles below the surface in underground caves. But there is a tipping point when it comes to how many pieces of metal should be dragged across your delicate face.

That number is 3. Someday they will stop making my tri-blades and kids will mock me for using anything less then 12. And by kids, I mean Tom.

1 comment:

Tom said...

Well, you're right that children (and adults who act like children) can be cruel. But I don't think that 12 is the number. Rather, we'll simply administer nanobot swarms to our faces, which will slowly process beard growths into biodiesel. Shaving will be continuous, infinite, and non-optional.