Goon Docks

Our tip to Oregon was supposed to be about waterfalls and old roommates and automated salmon spawning tutorials. And while it was about all those things, for the most part, somewhere along the line our side trip from Portland to the coast became exclusively and irrationally about The Goonies. For me, at least.

It wasn’t supposed to. The plan was to visit the once-thriving port city of Astoria, maybe see some eagles, have some lunch and then cruise on down the coast to experience the natural and geological wonders. But every filthy guide book I checked out from the library mentioned that Astoria was the town where several movies had been filmed. And prime among those was The Goonies.

How could you not become obsessed? Using the interents I found the address where the Walsh’s lived and used it as our destination when I programmed the GPS from Portland. I’m not sure if my other travel companions knew this since we didn’t go directly there. Instead we drove to a tower that was very tall and offered a majestic view but claimed that humans came from eggs. But while we walked around, the GPS sat blinking in the car, waiting for us to go to our ultimate destination.

Of course, the GPS was wrong and had us drive down several dead ends or roads that did not connect. But after a few minutes, things started to look familiar. “1985, I want my bike I want my bike I want my bike” familiar. The final clue was the sign that said “Private Driveway. No Cars.”

Convinced I had the right place, I pulled over and got out. The other 4 people in the car, however, were not as brave. “What if we get hungry and our trail mix is in the car?” they asked. “What if it starts to rain again and we get wet?” “What if the earth passes through the tail of a comet and the dead become re-animated?” All these were semi-valid questions. But none were worth sitting in the car and missing The Goonies house.

So I hiked up the driveway and…



Sure enough. The fence is gone, so no Truffle Shuffle. And the trim is now purple instead of red. But it was the real deal.

The entire encounter took 20 seconds. I got back in the car and we drove off. The G regained some of her normal pluckiness and made me back up so she could take a picture of the place. Of course, we were about a half mile away.

The rest of the trip down the coast featured many of sites familiar to the movie – the museum where Brand and Mikey’s dad worked, the beach where the police found them, a giant and mutated former Raider offensive lineman – but the house itself really was the Crown Jewel.

Too bad the rest of my group was sitting in the car wearing the Pampers their mom got them at the store.

Added bonus!



The school where Kindergarten Cop was filmed! It’s just down the street from the Goonies House!

Not added bonus!

The house where Short Circuit was filmed is also in Astoria! But, screw that. It was only Short Circuit, no one cares about Short Circuit.