MECHANICS, HANDYMEN: HEAR YE MY PLEAS,
Sound the alarms. I have one of these giant 1980's office "systems" at work - L shaped desk that also has a bulletin-board type thing and undermounted lights and cabinets and large drawers and, to my right, a set of smaller typical desk drawers. It is an ugly beige behemoth, but it has served me relatively well for the past few years, hiding paperclips and old bills and scribbled notepads and Veronica Mars dvds and the skulls of baby kittens.
Until this morning.
The top drawer won't close. I thought something was just jamming the track, but no. The track is busted. And since this drawer won't close, the other two will not open. And since it's one giant system, even though I broke out the screwdrivers and what not, I cannot take the damn thing apart NOR get the top drawer out even when unscrewing it from the track. Because the desk side panel was screwed on to the desktop last, thereby SEALING IN THE DRAWERS OF DOOM and therefore my tragic fate.
Send help. I am seconds away from hot streaming tears. I can't even concentrate on how shitty my NCAA picks are, or scrabulous. Sitch is dire, youngs.