Monday, March 17, 2008

Also, Amy Adams, you have about one more cutesy role left in you before America get tired of your schtick.

In an effort to take the piss out on me, last week the G mentioned that I watched Enchanted on the plane ride back from Portland. Fine. I admit it, I did. And I laughed. But since I was the only person on the flight who had a TV that was functional AND since I hadn’t paid for it, I figured it was my duty. Also, the woman next to me was so disagreeable that it was either watch Patrick Dempsey be all squinty or go to the bathroom to get tampons to put in my ears. My review: it was a darling movie and if we are ever to have a daughter or prissy son, she/he will be permitted to watch. Most of it.

Most of it, except for one scene which I will fast-forward through like my parents did during Crocodile Dundee. The one where Mick meets the tranny.

It is generally agreed to by most of America’s educated public that the grossest thing you could ever possibly see in life is a deformed city pigeon. I assumed that the folks at Disney understood this fact, yet those ghouls taunted us by CGI-inserting this disagreeable creature. In fact, it had significant screen time and it flutter around for five minutes doing the dishes and generally being nasty. Fearing my free movie would not come back, I covered my eyes instead of changing the channel.

I can not stress this enough: malformed pigeons are the most vulgar things on the planet. Malformed fish are the second most. They should not be subject of lightheartedness or humor. Only common decency prevented me from throwing up on my neighbors.

The G wasn’t that thoughtful, however.

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