Cranky/Grumpy Edition

1. I drank exactly one beer last night in Cleveland Park, you know, pouring half out for webdrama everywhere. I was cold, and sleepy, and full of tofu. I don't really drink anymore, and I'm uncomfortable with this realization. It's like I'm trying to re-start old addictions so people can look at me when I finally beat my inner demons and say things like "Wow, she must be a really strong person." Not succeeding with this plan.

2. In case anyone is interested: my birthday is early January, and I want the muscle tee.

3. Hey, another request, while I'm at it (it: being demanding and unconsolable. It's all this recent rain! And cold! I miss summer!) Please stop with the exclamation points. Can we think of something else? Soon?

4. I'm just being cranky because the Fall got away from me and shit, I missed giant turkey legs and stepping on capes, yo. Last year, K. and I had a giant battle royale where we hit each other over the head with pillowcases in an attempt to knock each other off a log.

You know, that description does not do it justice.

5. Oh, and the fact that I'm going to another funeral tomorrow. I wasn't even going to mention it, but this year has gone from sublime to ridiculous, so at this point, tragedy is almost (almost) hilarious.

6. My car is broken, again. For those of you in the know/those of you who have picked me up on the side of the road, you will fondly recall I have broken down in shitty cars all over the Mid-Atlantic - (1994/Dodge/Gettysburg, PA. 1996/Mercury/South Of the Border, Richmond, New Bern NC, and Myrtle Beach. 1997/Volvo v1.0/Route 7/Sterling, resulting in terrifying crash and court appearances. 1998-2001/Volvo v2.0/the Shenandoah Valley, every single DC suburb you can imagine, Arlington at least 10+ times.) I actually broke down in Volvo v2.0 twice on 66, and the SAME VDOT EMERGENCY HELP GUY stopped both times. I am the only lass who knew a VDOT guy by name simply because of her car. Volvo v2.0 --> donkey balls. Anyways, about 4 or 5 years ago I bought a Honda, and things have been relatively quiet since then, all suburban and completely uninspired and beige and Honda-y, but quiet. Good, even. However, the car is 8 years old and is going through a midlife/late life crisis.

I am telling you all this because parallel to my incredibly shitty luck with used cars, I had decent luck with dudes. One in particular. He came into my scary little life about the same time as Volvo v1.0. Our first date was in September of 1997, and I won't even go into what we did that night except to say there was a movie involved and it was "In & Out." Okay, there, I said it. I'll also tell you we went to Ruby Tuesdays for dinner.

I appreciate the fact that even though I had terrible bangs and wore overalls (um. I once owned velvet overalls, fr realsies. DRESS overalls.), I think he thought I was cute, in a manic-bunny-trapped-in-a-corner kind of way. 8 years later, I am deliriously happy to have him in my life. He is a terrific spouse, handsome as the dickens, intelligent and creative and terrifyingly clever. He is funnier than any person I've ever met, and he is employed and athletic. He can probably cure cancer, if he would just focus. As an adult, he never suggests Ruby Tuesdays as a viable dining option.

But perhaps most importantly, he brings to this relationship a car. A. WORKING. AUTOMOBILE. That he lets me drive when my car may implode. This is v. important, especially on cold windy days when not only does the gas line, like, fall out of my car? As he's driving to work? But then the car also gets a flat.

So, thanks, guy. I'm sorry I'm so incompetent that you are forced to drive my moving (barely) death trap.

I'm also sorry, kind of, that I don't really cook, clean, or take good care of the dog. And fish. Who sometimes I forget we own. Really, why you have not fled for a fishing boat in the Caribbean yet, I'm not certain.

EDIT/Unrelated: Good article on Rosa.