I learned two things yesterday at my government-mandated 2 hour lunch.

Both involved a time wasting trip to the Natural History Museum.

1. A chop block is

“a high-low, low-high or low-low combination block by any two offensive players with or without a delay between contacts when the initial contact clearly occurs beyond the neutral zone.”

It became illegal in the NFL and NCAA after a dramatic increase in the number ankle and knee injuries sustained by defensive lineman since the second block is often engaged outside the player’s field of vision.



The sports-loving taxidermists at the Smithsonian’s Natural History Museum have included an example of the chop block in their newest exhibit Mammals! (We’re just like the stuffed dinosaurs you came to see but we have fur. And milk!) Their re-enactment of last year’s Lions-Bills preseason classic features not only the Detroit player attacking the knees of a previously engaged Buffalo player but the first Lion is also employing an equally illegal crackback block.

This play would result in a 15 yard penalty.



2. This can’t be right.



Also at the Mammals! (Did we mention the milk bit?) exhibit, I saw two kids run up screaming “Bambi!” and then slowly back away after the deer-with-fangs thing registered.

If this was a skeleton and not a stuffed animal, I would have assumed that some tired paleobiologist stuck the horns in the mouth and called it a day. Like the guy who invented the triceratops, but in reverse.

Vampire deer are the new vampire vikings.