Is there anything better than a morning you wake up and decide "fuck it, the world does not need me today?"
I called in lazy/sick yesterday. I did shower, which was miraculous, and then went and watched all my unemployed family members/friends (seriously, there are like 20 of you, get jobs already) try on new eyeglasses and eat pizza, and listened while they called me "extra fat" and talk about how we're all gonna be unapologetically crazy when we're 70 years old because by then we will have earned it.
I also bought a laundry basket at Target.
I got my hair trimmed. I took the dog on a squirrel-chasing adventure around the neighborhood. Then I ate a Nats dog and watched the world's most boring pitching contest (until the 9th inning, when crappy ol Elijah Dukes [seriously, how is he even still around?] managed to steal some bases before the home team blew it anyway. So: only action in the last 10 minutes of the game. Uggggggggggh.)
And now you know why I don't write here anymore. Oh!!!!! I did almost get hit by a woman in a Miata on the way to work this morning, so that was new.